pigeon blank
by millypink
Summary: john gets hit by an out of control pigeon and loses all memories of sherlock! contains wierd things mabye abit  alot  crack! some confusing slash may come up only a tad though...
1. pigeons, pasties and poop

**Hello fellow writers, reviewers, and down right freaks yes Darkness drought I am talking to you and Sherlock! Really high on coffee and this popped in my head! enjoy! And if you don't… **

… **OH WELL!**

**OH yes disclaimer….**

**I don't own Sherlock sadly, and this is the Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock. And I don't own him. Once more sadly. Very sadly. **

Rain.

Rain and England are like tea and the queen. They just go together.

Like men and women.

Or men and men.

Or women and women.

Eating nutella out of the jar and drinking dr. pepper

And fruit in a fruit salad.

Back to the point.

I am walking the streets of London, back home to my little flat, which I share with my slightly insane, rude, annoying, bastard, bitch, pain in the rear end, flat mate. Sherlock Holmes. The worlds first consulting detective…

… I am john Watson an ex-doctor for the army…

…I am using these dots to let the information sink in for you dear reader of my mind…

… yes you are reading my mind…

Whilst explaining this to you I have been hit by a trajectory pigeon, the bloody things are every where stealing your Greggs pasty or sending you a nasty present on your shoulders, and ruining your brand new suit. I am writing this from experience.

I hit the filthy London pavement, my head throbs in pain I blank out. I wake a moment later the pigeon is now sitting on my head. I flap it away and sit up, bankers give me a dirty look and posh old women stick their noses up. They think I'm drunk.

I pick myself up. And dust of my suit, my new one. To find a large white splodge on my shoulder. Again. I quicken my pace, I am about 2 minutes away from the flat. so at the last corner I sprint as I spot mrs Hudson coming the same way. Eek! She will baby me if she finds me. She says she isn't my nanny but she is. I walk up the stairs. The room is dark, and my eyes begin to focus, I can see a man in the chair by the fire he fondles a ….

Skull?

His dark curls shadow his face, and almost white skin almost shines or glitters he reminds me of Edward Cullen… you know the vampire thing of sunrise? No its twilight, Harry was lecturing me about it yesterday.

"Hello john!" he says. I glare. How does this freak know my name?

" who are you?" I stir.

**Ooooohhhh hoped you liked. Review. **


	2. Ickle Doggy

_**Hello hoped you liked the last chapter! This should be as good and thank you to my beta DarknessDrought well Kinda beta I send her chapters she harasses the bad grammar and spelling so TA! **_

_I am sat in a chair, my chair. Looking/staring at my *flat mate* named *Sherlock Holmes* I don't know this freak… _

_I am a doctor. Who lives a peaceful life in my little flat with my even littler dog (Gladstone)which has a rather large tummy (fat). I stare in a creepy way. I am told. By the FREAK IN MY LOUNGE! He just sits there playing with the skull, like it's a girls world doll, playing with its non-descript or existing hair and puts on invisible make up…_

… _Harry had one…_

… _it was fun burning it…_

_He looks up "you really don't remember me do you?" his eyes mist over, they are a shocking blue, like glaciers or full fat milk bottles tops. Mmmmmm milk. Tasty stuff, my ex Hanna used to drink loads of it. I was going to by her a cow we where going to own a farm in the Cotswolds, she would write to make money and we would make ice cream from our cow and sell it to little children who came to our farm to learn about animals it was a dream which we could reach… _

_She dumped me._

"_well Erm I don't know who you are if that helps" I chirp. He glares " this is no cheery matter john, I have no one to rant at, no one to make me cups of tea and know one to walk Gladstone" he finishes with a flourish of his hands long spindly fingers in a elegant pose. I glare once more" how do you know my doggies name.?" he jumps out of his seat and shakes his head left and right, right and left. Up and down and to the side then stepped to the left to the right, three hops and begun to dance. I am now ranting . "he is my dog too!" I speak what I think " you stalked my ickle doggy!" _

_**Hola! This is very short but who cares! Hope you likes! A lot if not just go. Go now. Now. Reviews are sweet like strawberries! Hina likes strawberries! Shun all that don't like rozen maidens… shun the non believers….**_

_**Adios! Yayayayayayaya! And yes I will not be updating as often due to my damned internet not working. I am having with drawl symptoms and currently using my dads internet…. Or schools…. **_____


	3. told you so

**Hello sorry for the late update internet down but now fixed! This chapter is short hope you don't mind. If you do…. Go away. Thanks for reviews. They are really tasty. Thanks! **

**Sherlock pov. **

How the hell can he forget me! Come on I have been a major part in his life, I have almost ruined it. So how can he forget me honestly its like forgetting your mothers birthday or some thing! Only a stupid person would do that!

Oh dear forgotten mummy's birthday.

**John pov.**

I watch him, cautiously. He is really scaring me. 1. He says he lives with me. 2. He is stalking my little doggy! 3. He is now mumbling, and glancing at me. I think he's gay. A sudden thought comes in to my head…

**Sherlock pov.**

John leaps off of his chair. And begins to shout " maybe I'm in a parallel universe caused by the pigeon and every thing here is make believe and you!" he jabs his finger into my nose "you are imaginary! Or the pigeon collision made me go into a coma and this is all a dream yes it has to be a dream, look I can do any thing! I can run through walls!" " I highly doubt it john you will just hurt yoursel…" I begin but john runs full pelt towards the wall, it looms closer and closer to him, at this speed he might make a dint…

Smack.

John is sprawled the floor, holding his head, moaning but other wise ok. I drop down to his level he glares I smirk. "don't say I told you so" he mumbles smoothing his slightly squished nose. I get up." Tea?" I say in my civilian voice. I get no reply "yes I presume, and john" he lifts his head " told you so" he gives me a dirty look. And drops his head to the wooden floor.

Bang.

He groans, I try to not laugh.

**Well sorry this is a short chapter. Very short hope you enjoy this! I really appreciate reviews! Chapters will become longer. Hopefully. Thanks again for reading. **


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